Easter is one of the significant feasts of Christianity because it marks the Resurrection of Jesus three days after His death by crucifixion. Easter brings different messages to different people. For me, one of the most impactful is its message of hope.
Jesus ✞ died on Good Friday and rose again on Easter Sunday. With all due respect to the real Easter story, I liken Good Friday to the saddest or darkest moment in someone’s life and Easter Sunday to the day this person is taken out of the dark and redeemed through God’s grace. I myself have gone through some dark moments in my life and each time, God stayed with me until I started seeing the light again.
I consider my life during this pandemic as one of my darkest moments. Even prior to the pandemic, I was already going through a tough time. I’m a self-employed Process Consultant and it was getting more difficult to look for projects. Process improvement, to include process documentation, did not seem to be a business priority. When President Duterte declared a national lockdown in March 2020, I was forced to move out of my condominium unit in Quezon City and stay with my Mom in Caloocan. Our day help and night caregiver both decided to stop working and just stay home with their families because of the threats of Covid19. Moreover, my Mom was 85 at that time and due to her comorbidities, needed, 24/7 care.
I was not physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared to handle the demands of life during this pandemic. Taking care of my Mom meant giving her daily meals and snacks, brushing her teeth, giving her a bath and change of clothes, giving her the right medication on the scheduled time, assisting her when she has to use the commode, changing her diapers, etc. This was the easy part. The toughest for me though was trying to be patient and understanding of my Mom and her mood swings. I am not the perfect daughter so admittedly, there were times when I lost my temper. I would feel guilty thereafter and felt the need to either (1) talk to my sister who’s a registered nurse in the US hence can empathize with my situation or (2) talk to God. I have been most honest and open about my feelings when I talk to God because no matter what I say, no one will judge me. God always listens and understands.
Other than the challenges of taking care of my Mom, I also had to take care of doing the household chores. I have lived on my own for the majority of my adult life. While I have experience in cleaning and organizing, I have limited experience in cooking, doing the laundry and other chores, fixing broken household items, etc. I just bought my food, paid someone to do my laundry, or called the condo maintenance personnel. During this pandemic, I had to quickly learn and do all of these things on my own.
Also because of this pandemic, I had to learn all the recommended health measures and implement them at home to protect my Mom and myself. My siblings thought I was a control freak, but I didn’t care.
Since I was just doing all these routinary tasks on a day-to-day basis and was unable to work to earn money, I started feeling like I was trapped. Over time, it began to feel like being in a quicksand. As I continued to struggle and fight to have my old life back, the more I sank deeper and moved closer to what seemed like the end of my old life.
When I felt intensely weak and vulnerable, this series of distressful events happened to me, to us. In August 2020, one of my brothers, who stayed with us on weekdays, had a severe case of Covid. It was an emotional and financial struggle for our family. In April 2021, another brother and our Mom both tested Covid-positive. I really thought that we would lose her because her symptoms were getting worse as the days went by and it was almost impossible to find a hospital for her. I felt desperate and helpless. It was at this point that I decided to stop struggling and worrying. I finally decided to just let go and let God take over.
My Mom and brother eventually got confined in different hospitals. I had to stay with my Mom during her confinement; otherwise, it would have been difficult for her to talk with the doctors and other healthcare workers.
With God’s grace plus help from our family and friends, my two brothers and my Mom were able to win their respective battles with Covid. Moreover, my Mom was able to miraculously recover and get back to her pre-Covid condition. On the other hand, I also started looking at my personal circumstances differently. Instead of focusing on the things I lost, I shifted to focusing on the things I gained.
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For example, because of the pandemic, I was able to take care of my Mom and spend more time with her. Every time she would look at me to thank me, my heart melted. I also learned how to lead and be happy with a simple life. I was able to acquire new skills, like cooking, baking, doing the laundry, gardening, assembling display racks, etc. I invested time in taking care of my plants and found joy in seeing a new leaf, sprout, or bloom. I was even able to help my friend with his TinapaIsLife business and write blogs for the website. |
Yes, this pandemic unleashed one of my life’s darkest moments but consistent with the Easter story, I was able to see the light again. It may have taken more than three days but who’s counting.
On this Easter Sunday of 2022, I enjoin everyone to reflect and spread the message of love and hope to your family and others, even to yourself. If you are feeling sad, desperate, and hopeless, please do not despair or lose hope. Just trust God and wait for His divine grace to actualize the Easter story on your life. It has happened to me several times in the past; it could also happen to you.
Have a joyful and meaningful Easter everyone.